Tuesday, December 8, 2009

New Piece for the eSMArts Challenge- "Exactly"

Hillary created this new necklace for the eSMArts monthly challenge. This month's theme was ribbon and Hillary's piece fits the theme well, but it is based on something deeper. Here is what she had to say about it:

"Why would you cover up something so beautiful? Why hastily wrap fabric around something that is already perfect? Why mask the amazing sparkle?" Because it's what I do in real life. Why?
I don't know. What I do know is that hiding is tiring and it mostly just hurts me. I'm beautiful and sparkly and amazing just like my pendant: Creativity, compassion, dramatic tendencies, mistakes, extra 35 pounds and all. It's all beautiful. Keeping it in is a lot of work. Keeping it covered is me telling myself it's wrong or that other people's definitions of beautiful matter more than mine. I'm so tired of living behind this "fabric". I don't think I've said that enough: I'm tired and it hurts; And it's lonely.

I love people. I love hugs. I love talking. I love; alot. But mostly I worry about what other people will think if I reach out to them, I hide and I push people away. I don’t always know why. Sometimes, it’s just plain habit: No matter how hard I try, I run and hide, create drama, or just sit silently when what I really want to do is sing and dance and run through the snow naked. I am a little crazy. It really can be a wonderful, beautiful, happy, complicated crazy. But usually, it’s just defensive and short under the guise of trying to appear normal. I should be happy that I am not normal. What I am is beautiful. Perhaps one day I will make another pendant about myself and it will not be a hazy blur of gems with a little sparkle peeking out here and there. I believe it will be twice as beautiful as this one.

Thank you for listening to my story.


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